Some days I wake up , and the trauma, hurt and/ or pain just visits me before I visit myself.

Now everything I have planned for the day seems impossible,

The voices of others become irritating,

The pain is aching

but the healing seems faint.

Was I healing or suppressing my pain all this time?

because the pain feels the same as it did in the beginning.

I pray,

I cry,

I vent,

I attempt to heal

But I never do.

The truth is,

I suppress my pain, hurt and trauma.

And that’s my way of coping.

I’ve done more harm than good.

I’ve convinced myself that I was happy and my goodness, I believed it.

I have forcibly put “work” before my healing.

What does a “ healed “ person feel like?

Does the outside noise become inaudible?

Will peace be me, and I be it?

Let me know.

::still wants to heal