he attempted to touch my soul,

but I pushed back,

I pushed back because the idea of sabotaging you,

sabotaging us,

was easier than allowing you to love the different layers of me,

the layers I fought so hard to love,

the layers I feared you might not love.

so you stepped back,

so did I,

It felt safe,

but only for a while,

the edges of my soul were on fire,

but my core was untouched.

I glared into the version of me that you couldn’t see,

and asked her,

why will he not love thee?

as if I didn’t sabotage us.

the expectation was that you would fight for this ‘love ‘ you somewhat seem to feel.

an expectation that superseded the fact that my fear was bigger than our love language.

-nique